Undying Devotion
by Eiznek Eel Relle
Summary: Roxas' love for his childhood best friend, Axel, had been tearing him apart over the years. Not wanting to hurt his girlfriend Namine, he keeps these feeling hidden, breaking his heart in the process. Drabble. Onesided Akuroku, onesided Rokunami.


Look, I'm actually uploading something! I have a ton of stuff to work on and type up, but this idea came into my head and I absolutely had to write it On a personal note, I took some of my own feeling into account when righting this so it may seem ooc.

I obviously had to make Roxas in love with Axel, so if you, the person who inspired this, reads this, please don't get the wrong idea.

This was inspired by listening to 4+ hours of the song 'Nothing at All' by HeyHiHello and belting it out in my shower and bedroom.

Also, I'm pretty sure I switch tenses at least a few times…Tenses irk me and I was writing this too fast to give a f*ck.

It's not long and it's by no means great, but here you go J

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or products mentioned in here!

~~~~Undying Devotion~~~~

He had long ago convinced himself that he would spend the rest of his life with her. They met in seventh grade and had hit it off immediately; she was the slightly nerdy girl who sat in the back of the class and observed rather than spoke. Roxas, on the other hand, had been the schools track star with a strange group of followers. Namine was perfect. They fit together like a puzzle and they were never without each other for long. People said that, if any of the high school relationships that existed, they would be the ones to stay together and get married.

It wasn't until recently that Roxas had doubted that. Namine was getting boring, he was loosing friends, and he desperately wanted change in his life. He loved her, he truly did, but there was still apart of him that longed for freedom, a way to escape, and to feel full again. He didn't want to hurt the girl, he wanted anything but that, he just wanted to feel happy again.

Only one person could make Roxas smile like that. It didn't bother him, he had recently come to terms with his bisexuality, and he was the only thing Roxas ever thought about anymore. He had graduated, moved on to life outside their small Radiant Garden High School into the bigger, more populated Hollow Bastion University. Roxas had been left in the dirt; left to find a new best friend. It pained him more than anything to see Axel with his new friends, Demyx and Riku had steadily replaced him since the red head's departure to collage. Roxas had Sora and Riku, and, most of the time, that just wasn't enough.

He wanted to smile with him, laugh with him, have late night video game sessions where they lived of Monster, and have everything be just like old times. Perhaps that was why he resisted the change surrounding him. Long ago turned 16, Roxas refused to get his permit, hated college discussions, and wanted nothing more than to stay young forever. The memories of Axel were from when they were younger, and he didn't want to ever forget them. It still hurt to walk by the flamboyant red head's old locker and see a grungy, dirt bag using it. Roxas had realized it soon before Axel left, he had just never wanted to act on the feelings so bad.

"Are you okay, Roxas?"

"Do you love me, Roxas?"

"Roxas?"

"Roxas?"

He would answer yes to everything; yes he was okay, yes he loved her, but his heart also belonged to another. One that he would never, ever tell anyone he loved. After all these years of having Axel float in his head, Roxas had been unable to say anything. He had always thought of him as a dear friend, a best friend, nothing more. Axel was straight, he had girls all over him day and night; Roxas knew for a fact that Axel had slept with over ten girls while still in high school. When the feelings rose, he had been confused and had beat himself up about it. They were both guys, they shouldn't feel that way. Sora and Riku helped him, letting him know there was nothing to be ashamed about, and that they in fact had been together for a while. Roxas knew he should have been happy for them, but jealousy had flooded his heart. Why was he the unhappy one? Why was his love moving hours away? What did he do to deserve this? He had lied to his girlfriend, feeding her almost false feelings, and then convinced himself he was a horrible person. He just couldn't help but feel like he should break up with Namine, to tell her that she deserved somebody better than him. He just couldn't bring himself to do it.

They got married fresh out of high school, June after their senior year. Roxas figured then, maybe, he could get Axel out of his head. It hadn't helped, it only enhanced his feelings. He stood at the alter, Axel by his side. He was his best friend, best man, and secret love. He still smiled when Namine walked down the aisle and let a tear fall down his face when she approached him. They thought he was happy, that the tears were of joy, but they weren't. He wouldn't tell them he was depressed about it; he was the always chipper Roxas after all.

He felt a warm hand pat him on the shoulder reassuringly, attempting to give his some comfort. Stupid, he was the reason for the pain. He was the one who caused it all.

The ceremony and the reception flew by; Axel gave his best man speech, wishing Roxas for the best and for him to be happy with Namine. Kairi, already tipsy after a few glasses of wine, slurred her way through a congratulatory speech about how excited she was and how everyone had been looking forward to this day. Everyone except one, that is. Roxas grinned as they shared their first dance, and stepped out to get some air after the dance floor got so crowded.

He stood on the back porch of the small restaurant next to the parking lot, taking a deep breathe and running his hands through his blond hair. He had heard the door open behind him, and only turned around when a husky voice said,

"Found you, Roxy." Blue eyes met emerald green in seconds, and a goofy grin plastered across this face. They made small talk, simple how have you been questions and how is college, but nothing elaborate. Finally, the red head clamped his hand on Roxas' shoulder and pulled him into a quick hug.

"Congrats, Roxas. I'm happy for you, she's a really great girl." It was like a slap in the face. He felt like screaming at the older male, telling him to kiss him and that he was the source of all his fantasies and heartaches, but he didn't. Roxas gave him a quick thank you before the red head spoke again.

"It's getting late, and I've got classes tomorrow." That's right. Axel went to college year round to save money.

"I'm gunna head out, okay buddy? It's been nice home, but I'll be dead tired if I don't leave now. Plus, the roads get worse the later it gets." Roxas nodded, fighting back small tears. Axel couldn't leave, not so soon. Roxas had barely seen any of him today, he need more time.

"See ya, Ax. Thanks for coming today." Axel gave a cheeky grin and rubbed the blonds' head.

"I wouldn't have missed it for the world, it's the happiest day in you life, Roxy." It was the worst. They said their goodbyes and Axel made his way to his car. Just before the red head shut the car door, Roxas gulped and yelled out. Axel poked his head out, gazing at the younger boy.

"Just, uh..Be careful. Okay, Ax?" The emerald eyed man smiled and yelled back.

"You to, Roxy."

The farther he drove away, the more Roxas' heart broke. When the tail lights disappeared, so did Roxas' heart. He felt it shatter and seemingly disappear until he felt nothing, nothing at all. His heart had broken, feelings expired and now slowly killing him, tearing him in two.

~~~~Done~~~~

I…don't really even like this that much. I just needed to get it of my chest so I could write other stuff. Review's are much appreciated! J


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